Following on from turning off our autopilot, and turning our attention to another person. How did you do?
Look at these questions and rate them from a scale of 1-10 how did it go. (If not sure how to do this please refer to exercise 1)
How difficult was it to focus on the other person?
How much more enjoyable than usual was the interaction?
How much more effective were you?
Did your mind wander? If it did, what were you thinking about?
Did you notice anything new about this relationship?
What did you learn from this exercise?
The experience of actually coming out of autopilot and engaging in the here and now can be quite challenging. Especially when the other person has no idea on what you are doing!
This new approach can make them feel uneasy, or alternatively they may lap up the attention!
Even difficult relationships can be transformed if you concentrate on the here and now rather than the past. I know this is easier said then done, hopefully we will learn more about this as we continue our journey and become more mindful.
The attraction of ‘doing’ mode
Letting go of ‘doing’ is hard because doing is fun. Exciting and challenging things happen where we’re doing things. Doing things gets you through the day, if your already feeling overstretched, not enough hours in the day to complete everything, then how can you even comtemplate stopping for even a few minutes! I have this feeling regularly!!
So why bother?
‘Being’ mode is like housekeeping for your mind. It allows you to rest mentally.its the time when you replenish your mental and emotional resources. A little time ‘being’ or reflecting each day can be very productive for the rest of your day.
When people say ‘ let me sleep on it’ they are wanting time to retreat where their mind can relax and open itself to lateral , rather than acting on impulse. A decision you may later regret.
So why not give this ago!